• MEDIATION
• COLLABORATIVE FAMILY LAW/PRACTICE
• ARBITRATION

PROCESS CHOICES TO END A MARRIAGE OR COMMON LAW RELATIONSHIP:
When a marriage or relationship ends, couples have various process options to choose from to resolve parenting arrangements for children, a division of property, support for children and spouses, and all related matters. Which process is appropriate depends on whether parties can work out their own agreement; whether (like most people) they need assistance to do so and if so, what assistance; or whether they need a judge or arbitrator to decide the outcome for them. The process options include:

• The "kitchen table" negotiation
• Mediation
• Collaborative Family Law
• Negotiation by Lawyers
• Arbitration
• Court

Following is an overview of all 6 process options, as well as detailed information on the services Victoria provides.

The Kitchen Table Negotiation
Some couples can sit down together, discuss and resolve their issues on their own. This works for people who communicate well, have a reasonably low level of conflict and high level of trust. Usually their issues are straightforward and their marriages short. This is not advisable when the issues are complex, such as dividing pensions or businesses, or if the parties do not feel equally able to negotiate. It is wise to obtain a legal consultation before the negotiation and to have a lawyer prepare the written Separation Agreement or at least review and provide advice on any agreement before it is signed. It is possible for couples to settle some issues themselves and require help for the rest.

Mediation
Couples work together under the guidance of a neutral mediator to seek mutually acceptable settlements. The mediator can be a mental health expert (for parenting arrangements) or a lawyer (for financial matters and perhaps parenting). The mediator will help the parties decide the issues they want to resolve, communicate effectively, articulate what is important to each, gather all necessary information, create a number of options for settlement and choose the option that works best for both. In Ontario, couples usually attend mediation sessions without lawyers, although it is recommended they be represented by lawyers during the process. The mediator will not give legal opinions or advice and will send the parties to their lawyers for independent legal advice before any agreements are finalized and signed. Some mediators will prepare a draft settlement agreement; others will prepare a summary of terms agreed and request one of the lawyers prepare the Separation Agreement. The mediation process can help couples improve their capacity to communicate and coparent effectively after divorce. more on what Victoria offers, including a sample mediation contract

Collaborative Family Law/Practice
Each spouse retains a Collaborative Lawyer who has been trained in the collaborative process, effective communication and principled negotiation skills. The clients and the lawyers sign a Participation Agreement in which all commit to negotiate in good faith, treat each other with respect, exchange all important information, put the children first, and look for solutions acceptable to both parties. The contract provides that these lawyers are retained solely to facilitate settlement and will not go to court. Negotiations take place in a series of 4 party settlement meetings in which the lawyers provide legal advice and support and maintain a safe, balanced negotiation environment. When needed other professionals, such as Parenting Coaches and Financial Specialists, are retained to provide input and assistance. The collaborative process provides a holistic approach to resolving all of the legal, financial and emotional issues that come with separation and divorce, in a principled way, following established protocols without the threat of court. more on what Victoria offers, including FAQs and a sample participation agreement

Negotiation by Traditional Lawyers
Each party retains a traditional lawyer who will negotiate for the clients. Most of the work is done between the lawyers, by letter or phone, without the clients present. Each lawyer will attempt to get the best settlement for his or her client, based upon legal entitlements and obligations. If experts are necessary to value an asset or provide an opinion, each side usually hires and pays for his or her own expert. Either side may go to court at any time or use the threat of court to achieve the desired outcome.

Arbitration
Issues which parties cannot settle themselves can be referred to a respected, senior family lawyer for efficient, private resolution. The parties decide the issues to be determined, how formal or informal the process will be, whether evidence will be given in person or in writing, whether or not lawyers will attend, and the time and date of the hearing. The decision made by the arbitrator is binding on the parties and can be treated as a court order. This process is usually faster and less expensive than court, and completely confidential. more on what Victoria offers, including sample arbitration contracts

Court
Couples who cannot resolve their dispute themselves, or who believe they will not be able to do so, and do not wish arbitration, can bring a court proceeding. Parties to litigation must follow court procedure, which requires filing documents and taking steps according to prescribed rules. Settlement conferences will be held by judges and matters which are not settled will be decided by a judge. The time and cost of a court proceeding is difficult to predict, but it usually takes longer and costs more than out of court processes. Court actions often harm relationships between parties, diminishing their capacity to coparent in the future. Conflict in the family is known to harm children more than the divorce itself.